My Journey Into BDSM: Thursday Without Sir, Sort Of…

Tuesday was a little bit scary for me. I didn’t follow Sir’s instructions on Monday or on Tuesday and I stayed in bed until eleven. Sir was not pleased with me and threatened to come over within minutes to confront me, or what I assume would have been to punish me. My house was not ready for Sir and there was a huge chance that my kid and/or my mother would pop in. I had dirty laundry on the floor of my bedroom, there was a dirty pot left on the stove from my kid, the face-painting tools I bought for the job I just lost and never got to use were on my kitchen table, and the litter box was overflowing. My house is better today since the maid will be here tomorrow. There is of course cat hair everywhere, but she always gets it all. I’m very pleased Sir didn’t see my mess.

I digress…

Tuesday, the one thing I needed to take care of was shop at Sam’s. Sir was still saying he would be coming over but this time he said he would meet me in the Sam’s parking lot so we could talk. Once I was dressed and ready I got into my car and pulled out of the garage. I was waiting at the light at the edge of my neighborhood when I received another text from Sir. He was at my house and wanted to drive over together. I explained that I had already left so he told me to wait for him in the parking lot. I got to the parking lot about fifteen minutes before him and I was nervous about what he would say to me about my behavior.

Sir arrived and walked up to my car window, I rolled it down and spoke to him for a minute before he rounded the car and got into the front passenger seat. The first light-heartening occurance in the tension was when he got in and told me to roll up my window. It was already up, I giggled and he commented on how clean it was. I like a clean car as well. Sir looked at me and my anxious state and his heart softened. He spoke to me softly and told me how he cared about me and instilled the rules on me to help me. I knew he was speaking the truth, but I was still nervous. I didn’t know what my actions would cause and I really needed to get my shopping done. Haha! We sat in the car for about twenty minutes talking and he told me that he wouldn’t punish me for my actions, or lack there of.

Let me digress once more… My kid and I went to CVS to pick up meds that were ready. The pharmacist recognized me and knew my kid’s name asking if we were there for me or my kid. My kid asked if I went there often and all I could reply was, “I guess so.” It’s nice to be recognized by someone in a very busy store. That was a little bright spot in my day that started so scary.

Knowing that Sir wouldn’t punish me and also that he had a nice surprise for me this weekend was very relieving. I am still very nervous about Saturday, but I will persevere and carry on for Sir. He has a new paddle for me, it’s called “the bruiser”. I’m not sure if I should be happy or concerned. I am leaning towards happy since Sir has been very kind to me and said I wouldn’t be punished. I may still do something that displeases him on Saturday, but I plan to do my best to obey and be a diligent sub.

I had two great interviews today and I expect more in the near future. I have to take my Scottish Fold to the vet tomorrow but the rest of the day I plan to look for positions I qualify for. The remainder of the time between now and Saturday will be dedicated to making sure I am ready for Sir. My kid will be going to the dad’s house for the weekend and my mom knows that Sir is coming over so I don’t expect her. Even though it should be safe I plan to lock the lower locks on my front doors so that no one can just pop in. That would be dramatic and crazy! I have no idea how to explain that! My best girlfriend is aware of Sir and what we do, but she is very understanding and basically told me, “You’re grown, you know what you want and that’s fine!” She has always been understanding with me and I love her for it.

Sir will be here Saturday evening, so stay tuned for the play-by-play!

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