My Journey Into BDSM: Thursday With Sir

Sir leaves today for an extended trip overseas. I’m not sure how I feel about that. It will be strange not having him a simple text away for a while, but I think I’ll be fine. I plan to keep in contact with him and continue to blog so he can read about my days while he’s gone. I don’t know if I will hear back from him while he is away but I plan to be diligent with my contact so he knows that I am okay. He stopped by this morning for a cup of coffee and to say goodbye. Unfortunately I was still in my low from yesterday so I wasn’t the best company. I had been up since 7 but hadn’t showered or dressed. He wanted to spank me, but I refused. Another rule broken. I’m not sure how often he will actually let me get away with rule breaking. Just the thought of it made me tear up, I wasn’t ready and I simply couldn’t get myself to the point where I would enjoy it or that it would feel like punishment. I’m numb today. He did make me feel a little bit better, it’s always nice to see him and he is so caring towards me. I can’t help but appreciate him.

I don’t think he minded much that I looked terrible. He was more concerned about my low and my lack of eye-contact. I find it hard to look at people in general but when I’m down it’s nearly impossible. He still wants to fix me even though I don’t think I am fixable. He gave me the number for a psychiatrist and I made an appointment, but the earliest he could see me is the second week in December. I plan to go, but I am concerned that I may be working at that point and won’t be able to get the time off. At least I have his phone number so I can reschedule if needed. I’m hoping to at least get in the initial consultation before I go back to work.

I had a successful set of phone interviews with a company that is within my neighborhood. I think it might take me 7 minutes to get there depending on the lights. I love the thought of that. I also have an interview tomorrow in the same building, so that’s kind of weird. I think I’m a better fit for the position I interviewed with today more than tomorrow’s. I’ve been close before so I am not holding my breath.

Now that I have a few more interviews on the horizon I am able to relax a little. Although I have been interviewing quite regularly, there is still some stress that comes with being jobless. I’ve never heard back from unemployment, so I have no idea what’s going on with that. Hopefully, I will hear something soon and I will get retroactive pay.

I am meeting my girlfriend and her husband this weekend to replace the gun that was stolen from me during my renovations. I am still angry about that but at least he left the case so I had the serial number to report it to the police. We will have lunch, go shop, stop by the shooting range so I can try out her smaller guns, and hopefully her husband can fix the strobing on my television. I plan to take my kid as well, if there is a gun in the house everyone should be able to use it properly and safely.

So that’s my Thursday, not a typical day, but welcomed.

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