I got my punishment today. Sir is ultimately a gentleman and doesn’t like to punish me. So even though I thought I should only get ten lashings, he gave me twenty – ten on each side. It stung and left marks which he dislikes, but the worst part was the feeling of inadequacy and disappointment I felt knowing that I had let Sir down. He did give me nice aftercare, so I am in a much better place than I was prior to the lashings. The anticipation leading up to it and not knowing what the punishment would be put knots in my stomach and made me so anxious. That’s all past now and Sir and I have a clean slate. I do not want to disappoint Sir again.