Monday Mania

Let’s start with the positives:

  1. I was up early and to work early even though my new coffee machine hasn’t arrived.
  2. I got the hard copy of the 900+ report done today.
  3. The interim boss is on my side and is taking steps to help me out.
  4. I have a training session with my counterpart tomorrow.
  5. I’ll get to see Sir one last time before he goes on holiday.

Sir will be leaving for a short holiday. He deserves it, I’m sure he will still work from the beach but hopefully not as hard as he does when he is home. We have plans to see each other on Friday. It’s our normal day, but it’s different this time since I won’t be seeing him and may not get to text with him either. I like our daily chats, I will definitely miss them if they are taken away from me. But I am looking forward to a regular session for a change, it’s been too long.

I had a very busy day today, thankfully I got it all done so I have nothing really hanging over my head when I get in tomorrow. Although the work was tedious, I enjoyed it. I would much rather have something to do that is a little boring than having nothing at all to do. My day went by swiftly until I finished that report, then it dragged by.

Not a lot is going on here. My friend finally came back from staying with her cousin in the hospital. She got in around 4, I had just taken my Adderall so I was awake. She’s exhausted today, so there was no job hunting, or anything else. Hopefully, she will be more productive tomorrow. There was apparently some more drama going on in her life because she has moved from being on her phone in the yard (as opposed to being on a comfy chair on the patio) to her room. I’m not one to pry so I won’t be knocking on her door. She will tell me if she thinks I need to know.

I have texted Sir three times and have received no response back. It’s Monday so he may very well be at home getting some much needed sleep. I hope that is the case. As I have said before radio-silence makes me wary. Did I do or not do something wrong? Did something happen when we saw each other yesterday that he didn’t like? There are a million things I can think of that might have made my Sir upset, but I don’t think that he is. I am hoping beyond hope that he is simply taking a much needed nap. I think the reason I make a good sub is because I have a terrible view upon myself. I can be strong at times, but when it comes right down to it, I am unhappy with myself, my self-worth, and my self-being. Sir has done so much to change some of the way I have been thinking. The meds help too. But all my fears and insecurities come flooding back when I don’t hear from him at our usual time. I know I have issues, this is why I am on meds and in therapy, but no amount of drugs and talking can really make radio-silence less brutal.

Ta Ta


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