Thursday Without Sir

Positives:

  1. My low that came from hearing what my father really thinks about me only lasted last night.
  2. New printer arrived today.
  3. I’m printing out my book for edits, finally.
  4. Three days until Sunday With Sir.
  5. I was given a special project from the VP and it’s going really well.

Well, the new printer prints the last page first then it ran out of ink before it got to the front of my book. New ink doesn’t arrive until Sunday. If I want to work on it tomorrow and Saturday I am going to have to make a trip to the store. I suppose I can do it on my way home from therapy tomorrow. Since I skipped the shower today, I’ll have to shower tomorrow so I’ll be public ready anyway.

I had a brutal evening last night. I spoke with my father who is most likely dying of cancer. He didn’t sound that great, but he was in a decent mood which is helpful. Sir was the one who insisted I call him, and I’m glad he did. We hadn’t spoken since Christmas, so it was about time one of us called the other. For the record, we live in the same city and the firm he owns is housed within walking distance from my house. To say we aren’t close is an understatement, I speak to the clothing donation people more often. After we got off the phone I texted my sister to tell her what I knew, they don’t speak all that often either, but way more frequently than him and me. While my sister and I kept going back and forth I asked her if she had spoken to our mom. She hadn’t. Mom was supposed to come over yesterday but she didn’t show up, nor did she respond to either of my texts. The red alert was out, so I called Mom. She answered like nothing was going on whatsoever. Mom had been lost in her sewing and left her phone on the charger all day. Red alert cancelled. I told her about the conversation I had with Daddy and she shared a little something with me. It wasn’t a nice little something either. She basically told me all the misconceptions my father has about me and what he really thinks about me. I won’t lie, it hurt. It hurt a lot. I cried and felt the low creeping up into my chest. I reached out to my best friend from high school who also has issues with her father, but she was already in bed. She checked in with me today and I told her I was fine. Sir was the one who got me through it. He sent kind words and lots of support. It’s amazing what a specical connection a Dom and sub can actually have. I never would have thought that a year ago, but a year ago the only Dom/switch I ever had was my late husband who I already trusted and shared everything with. The scene is so very much not as I expected it to be, everyone I’ve encountered online has been so kind and helpful. It took a few connections before I met Sir, and I’m so happy that we found each other.

Lighter subject now, I don’t need to stay down that rabbit hole. I think I’m going to have to cancel on hiring my friend as my trainer. I’m not sure I have the spare cash and I know I don’t have the motivation to start working out again. Yes, I need to and yes, I want to, but just not yet. My foot has been feeing better so I really should go down to the free gym in the building a couple of times a week, it’s just so hard to motivate myself. That’s exactly the reason I wanted to hire my friend, but I just don’t feel ready yet.

Pigeon is eyeing a crane fly that has been hovering around the crown molding. He thinks he can reach it, silly kitty. He’s been quite subdued this evening; not nearly as entertaining as ususal. Of course when I changed the litter he immediately jumped into the box as usual. He does keep trying to get outside though, I’ve had to chase him down about four times now because he snuck by.

Houseguest just stopped by to pick up more clothes. Her best friend just died and her cousin is in the hospital with an unknown problem. She is watching her friend’s kids and trying to help them cope with losing their mom. She should be back this weekend, so I need to get off my butt and do something around this house so she doesn’t peg me for the weekday-slug that I am. She’s having a shit time, I can totally relate. I just home my two years of shit are over. Sir will not like that I wrote shit twice (now three times) so I’m sure I will feel it on Sunday.

There are several reasons Sir has for punishing me, the biggest being that we haven’t had a session in over three weeks, the second biggest being that I cancelled the last time we were supposed to have a session. I’m know there are more but I tend to focus on the most recent one, so he will have to tell me for what I am being punished. I am looking forward to the release that Sunday will bring me, I am also looking forward to the hugs that will be coming my way, and of course the collar. I’m his and I want something that shows that I’m his besides a few bruises.

That’s it for me, it’s my bedtime and I am not allowed to be late to work. Ta ta.

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