Sir and I had a very rough patch even after I thought it was all over. We reconnected momentarily, I missed and needed him. We had a “downtime” talk that put me in tears but he continued with our session despite my mood. That made me angry, I thought he cared about me. I think he just didn’t realize how upset I was. Afterwards I texted some horrible and vulgar things to him. Of course that made him angry and he finished with me abruptly. That struct me deep in my heart, I never wanted to hurt him.
I spiraled into a deep low before I finally admitted to Sir that I was broken. I needed him, I missed him, and I wanted him. We reconciled after I apologized for being so awful to him. We started to communicate again, and I was so happy. Then, I met someone. Not a Dom, just a guy. The guy and I have been communicating and finally met. I don’t think he will be a long-term guy, but I think we will enjoy each other’s company for a while. Easy and uncomplicated.
I’m sad that I will no longer be seeing Sir. I love my Sir, I will always love my Sir. Most of all, I will miss my Sir. He is kind, caring, and amazing. I don’t think I could find another like him which is why I don’t think I will be looking for another. I’ve had the best and I’m scared of the rest.
So I will date this guy, I’m no where near having sex with him, so I am also nowhere near telling him I want to sub. I don’t think he is the type of guy to understand. He’s a “moving on” guy. We can have a good time for a while but he lives far away and I have no desire to live in the country that is infested with alligators. They have lost so many black labs to alligators it breaks my heart.
I think I need some time to myself. Dating someone who works night shifts and lives almost an hour away just might give me that space I need. I have to come out of this very deep low that I am in, so maybe a new person in my life may help. It did take everything in me to get ready for this date tonight. I don’t know how to resurface. I’m drowning. I miss my Sir a lot.
From now on my blog will just be musings about my daily life. If Sir ever lets me back with him or if I find another Sir I will of course report it. Sorry fans, that’s where I am right now.