Category Archives: Uncategorized

Thankfully My Sir

Sir has forgiven my transgressions. We chatted for several days before we finally met up. I had an amazing night tonight. Sir made me feel wonderful and amazing. I’m sad he had to leave so soon. 
All things aside, I am so happy that Sir and I are back together. He makes me feel so beautiful. I love my Sir and I’m glad we are back together. He is an amazing. Intelligent, gentile, altruistic person, and I love all of that in him. I just hope he has some love for some of my characteristics. Sir makes me happy, and I’m happy we are able to reconnect. 

It Just Gets Worse, But There Is A Twinkle

Sir is the kind, caring, altruistic Sir he has always been. I lost my father this past weekend. I reached out to Sir and he was very understanding and kind towards me despite how I treated him and what I said to him. I doubt he would ever take me back as his sub, but at least I know I can reach out to him for some kind words if I need them. Twinkle. That is exactly why Sir is so special. Sir is empathetic and realizes that not all of us handle life with ease. 

If I can be kind and giving in the manner that Sir is, maybe I have hope for a reconciliation. I don’t know what my problem truly is when it comes to Sir. Sometimes it’s a panic attack, sometimes it’s a lack of motivation and the need to isolate. He was very understanding for a very long time, there are just so many times someone will make exceptions. I’m past that limit, I know. I wish I wasn’t. 

The viewing is on Friday, then I host a baby shower on Saturday. One life out, one life in. I have to pull it together so I can be a gracious host on Saturday. After that, I can isolate on Sunday. Kid will be off to the northern US and I will be alone in the house. 

Still Broken

Sir and I had plans to have a session last Sunday, but I met someone that I thought I might like to date. Sir always said that he knew I would meet someone eventually and that would be the end of us. After many texts and meetings I realized that this person I met isn’t right for me. He is very much a country boy and I am very much a city girl. We could never agree on those aspects, I don’t want to live in a tiny town and the guy is intimidated by the big city. I won’t be seeing him again.

I miss my Sir. I miss his daily advice, I miss our text chats, I miss his intellect, I miss belonging to someone. I am still broken, broken because I am in a very bad low that I wish Sir would beat out of me. Broken because my psych upped one of my meds even though I don’t think it will help. Broken because I no longer have my Sir, my mentor, my reason to be better, my friend. I am broken and I don’t know how to fix myself. The new meds will help some but they will not replace my Sir. I won’t find another like him; kind, caring, aware of my issues, altruistic. My Sir was the best and I messed up by telling him I was done. 

So I am left to try and piece myself back together. I need him now more than ever. Work has been hard. Making myself un-isolate has been very hard, not having his wisdom and words of encouragement has been the most difficult. I shouldn’t have ended things and I am very sorry I did. He is such a kind, caring, generous Sir I’m sure I have been replaced and that leaves me in a terrible state of regret. My Sir is no longer my Sir and I am devestated. 
I want to be punished. I want to be set right. I want his dominance. I want my Sir back. 

No longer with Sir

Sir and I had a very rough patch even after I thought it was all over. We reconnected momentarily, I missed and needed him. We had a “downtime” talk that put me in tears but he continued with our session despite my mood. That made me angry, I thought he cared about me. I think he just didn’t realize how upset I was. Afterwards I texted some horrible and vulgar things to him. Of course that made him angry and he finished with me abruptly.  That struct me deep in my heart, I never wanted to hurt him. 

I spiraled into a deep low before I finally admitted to Sir that I was broken. I needed him, I missed him, and I wanted him. We reconciled after I apologized for being so awful to him. We started to communicate again, and I was so happy. Then, I met someone. Not a Dom, just a guy. The guy and I have been communicating and finally met. I don’t think he will be a long-term guy, but I think we will enjoy each other’s company for a while. Easy and uncomplicated. 
I’m sad that I will no longer be seeing Sir. I love my Sir, I will always love my Sir. Most of all, I will miss my Sir. He is kind, caring, and amazing. I don’t think I could find another like him which is why I don’t think I will be looking for another. I’ve had the best and I’m scared of the rest. 
So I will date this guy, I’m no where near having sex with him, so I am also nowhere near telling him I want to sub. I don’t think he is the type of guy to understand. He’s a “moving on” guy. We can have a good time for a while but he lives far away and I have no desire to live in the country that is infested with alligators. They have lost so many black labs to alligators it breaks my heart. 
I think I need some time to myself. Dating someone who works night shifts and lives almost an hour away just might give me that space I need. I have to come out of this very deep low that I am in, so maybe a new person in my life may help. It did take everything in me to get ready for this date tonight. I don’t know how to resurface. I’m drowning. I miss my Sir a lot. 
From now on my blog will just be musings about my daily life. If Sir ever lets me back with him or if I find another Sir I will of course report it. Sorry fans, that’s where I am right now. 
TaRa!

My Journey Into BDSM: Friday With Sir, Without Sir

Well our plans to meet tonight were derailed by a stress fracture my kid sustained during gym class. We spent the afternoon in the ER and now kid is in a boot for the next few weeks. Poor kid.

I was all ready for Sir. After meeting my mom for lunch, I had a manicure and pedicure, then a Brazilian wax. I was all smooth and looking forward to it. Plus I have my new set from Agent Provacateur and a couple of baby-dolls I wanted to show him. I’m not sure when I will get to see him next. That’s disappointing, but my kid comes first. 

I have to pack and finish making sure the house is put together, and put all the trash out into the bins so Mom can put them out on Sunday. We are expecting really bad weather this weekend so I’m concerned about missing my connection in Charlotte on my way to Greenville. Hopefully the originating plane will get off on time and I won’t have to worry. I think the weather on the way back will just be cold and not rainy.

Maybe I will get to see Sir next Saturday. I have no idea what his schedule is next week. Although I get back on Thursday night I have the party to deal with on Friday night. Saturday would be the only time I would be able to see him.

I’m watching Leap Year for the eighteenth time, Sir refers to my bag as Louis as the Irish guy did in the movie. It makes me laugh so I had to watch it again. Yay Netflix!

I am very disappointed about not seeing Sir tonight. I’m not sure how to describe my feelings. We had such a nice chat last night and I was looking forward to tonight. Maybe the extended wait will make it all the better. At least I hope so. Thankfully Sir was very understanding and I didn’t get in trouble for breaking our plans. Obviously I have to be here for my kid. He has a kid, he understands.

My only order at the moment is to write an essay on alcohol and it’s effects on the body. I’m aware of the effects, but I am reluctant to write the article. I will see how this week without any alcohol goes and decide then if I feel like I need to write the essay. I want to please him, but I feel like that request is redundant since I plan to curtail my drinking immensely. 

My girlfriend thought the cheese and wine party was tonight, so she showed up with a couple of bottles of wine. We had a really good chat and she stayed late as she always does. She plans to come back next Friday to attend the actual party. We had a good time, and I’m happy she came over it took my mind off missing out on seeing Sir. I need to go to bed.
I tried again to finish off the Brazilian that I paid for today. That woman missed so many hairs! Sir didn’t want me to continue, but I felt I must. Crazy hairs around the vagina are not welcomed!

Anyway, I miss Sir. I look forward to the next time we finally get to meet.

My Journey Into BDSM: Thursday Without Sir

I am no longer numb regarding my feelings towards Sir. I was criticized and chastised like a little kid. I didn’t go into this looking for a father. I’m not one of those Big/little people, I simply wanted some structure and pain to feel release. We texted and I felt relieved after our conversations. The only thing that bothers me is the “your wrong” comments he made yesterday.
He told me I was wrong for a few reasons:

*For saying “dammit” when I started tearing up

*Wrong for being angry (which I wasn’t)

*Wrong to assume he was asking me to stop drinking (why send me the article and ask me to write a paper on the affects of alcohol on women/bodies)

*Wrong to not let him teach me things
I cuss yes, but dammit is so benign it’s even said on daytime television. I wasn’t angry, I was hurt. I felt judged and scolded. If he wasn’t asking me to quit drinking then why the lecture even if it was in written form? Wrong to not let him teach me things? I know the affects of alcohol on the body and mind and I know it’s far worse for women than it is for men. I am about to start a new job and I won’t be drinking during the week like I have been while on this hiatus from work. I don’t need to be taught about alcohol. I will go back to being a social drinker on the weekends when I am with friends. Of course I will abstain on the days/nights I meet Sir. I’m ready to heal and I know I don’t need to drink every day anymore. I am in a much better place now and I am looking forward to getting new meds and meeting with my therapist. I know Sir is looking forward to that as well. We are okay, and he is willing to deal with my escentricities so we can move forward with our relationship. He made blog post shortly after we started seeing each other and I hold that near to my heart. Sir said some very nice things about me, I’m not used to getting compliments, and he is always there to lift me up when I don’t feel my best. I don’t know why I doubted him and us.
I’ve been holed up in the house all day today. I have gotten some things done so I can be ready for my trip. I pulled the suitcase out of the attic since it will be quite cold while I am in SC and I will need to pack bulky clothes. After I did that, I make myself a drink. I’m still on hiatus, so I will drink when I want for now. Tomorrow I meet with Sir and I will not be drinking. I don’t need to be numb when I’m with him, I need to feel every touch, swat, and kiss.
Sir certainly didn’t sign up for the tornado that is me, and I completely understand. I know we can work this out, but I may need to work on myself for a while before we can. I’ll see the psych next Friday to see what we can do about my meds, then the following week I will see the therapist to start talking about my issues. Maybe then I can be the diligent sub he deserves.
UPDATE:
Holy crap I am seriously a drama queen. I want to work through my issues and be a better sub. That’s my plan. I had a very nice conversation with Sir via text and we will still meet tomorrow for dinner and a session. Of course I will post what goes on since this is supposed to be a blog about my journey into BDSM instead of a journey into my crazy mind. So stay tuned, I’ll be sober so I will remember all the details!

My Journey Into BDSM: Wednesday Without Sir

Well today was not all that productive. My kid is sick and the SO came over to play nurse at 10:30. I was of course asleep, but I got up when I heard the code being punched into the front door. I thought it was my kid knowing the sickness was in the air and thought kid came home from school early. When kid didn’t respond to me calling out, I got up. Okay, I’m up, coffee time.

My lunch plans for today have been changed to dinner plans for tomorrow. He has a lot going on right now so today wasn’t great. At least I get to see his girlfriend again since we are going to dinner.

The doctor called to verify my Adderall prescription. I had to take photos of the prescription label and email it. He asked about all my meds so luckily I had all of them written down along with the milligrams for each.

I finally got word around one o’clock that I was cleared and able to start work this weekend! I am officially a Project Administrator and Office Manager of the local office. They made my travel arrangements, obviously going for the cheaper flights on American instead of the direct flights on United. I have a layover in both directions. Another girl will be starting in the same office as me and will be traveling and training at the same time as me. At least I’ll have another newbie to chat with and go through all of this with. I think that’s a bonus. We’re staying at a Holiday Inn Express, free breakfast! Yay!

I have a lot to do in the next few days to make sure the house is ready for the maid to come while I’m gone and for the party that’s happening the day after I get back. I’m not really sure where to start. My girlfriend and I are going to the shooting range tomorrow around two so that will cut into my day a bit. I need to buy more hangers for the new clothes I ordered for work. I need to pick up all the crap that hasn’t been put away in the past week. Then I’m meeting my friend for dinner. It’ll be a busy day, I should try to get up early and take my Adderall so I’m motivated and moving before one in the afternoon.

I haven’t heard from Sir today, but I didn’t expect to, I’m sure he has thrown himself back into work without a moment’s break. He got in last night and texted me that he landed safely. We had a quick chat and that was it. We still have plans to meet Friday, but now I’m sure I can’t spend the night since I have to pack and tie up loose ends to be at the airport early on Sunday. Saturday will be my last day to sleep in late and I relish my sleep when I get it. I’m sure we will chat later this evening, so I’m not concerned.

That was my great day, I hope you had a great day, too!

UPDATE: Of course Sir is at work but we are texting. I’m very happy he is home. We will still meet Friday, but he insists I spend the night. I warned him that I had to take my sleeping pill, but he was not deterred. Hopefully it will put me to sleep pretty quickly instead of allow me to have conversations and agree to things outside of my realm while I’m in the wake/sleep state. LOL.

UPDATE TWO:  Well, crud. I was having a great day until Sir and I finished texting. He said he wasn’t lecturing me on my drinking, but he sent me a long article about alcohol and it’s affects on men and women. I don’t need a lecture, I know that my drinking is a problem. I will be away for a week an not drinking the entire time. I am drinking now because I enjoy it and I am basically on vacation. He thinks I am angry with him for lecturing me but he doesn’t think that sending that article was lecturing nor did he think that he was criticizing my drinking. I’m not angry,  I’m bruised. I hated being lectured by my dad and it always made me feel like crap, so now I’m in tears after Sir’s text. I can’t respond, I have nothing to say. I have no idea how to overcome this now. I guess I’ll just take a Lunesta and go to bed.

My Journey Into BDSM: Tuesday Without Sir

I got some bad news today. The Adderall showed up on my drug screening for my new job. That is not good considering it’s an amphetamine. I explained it to the HR guy, but he said that a doctor would be contacting me to ensure I have a prescription and I am not a drug abuser. I am on pins and needles waiting for this doctor to call me. The HR guy said they wouldn’t know the details of what the doctor and I discussed, just whether or not I was a drug abuser. I’m not, I swear I’m not! I don’t even take it on the weekends! I hope he calls tomorrow so I can stop worrying about it. I will definitely need my second anti-anxiety med tonight.

Sir is traveling today and will not get back home until late this evening. I’ll probably be awake, so I hope to hear from him even if it’s brief. His flights are excruciatingly long, so I assume that means he will be drop-dead tired. That’s okay, if I don’t hear from him tonight I will hear from him tomorrow.

I was productive again today. I didn’t get the car washed because it’s supposed to rain tonight and tomorrow, but that’s no big deal. I went by Spec’s and picked up bottles of wine and crackers for the party. I will get the cheeses Friday or Saturday so they keep. I’m sure they’ll be fine, they’re mold anyway, LOL. Next I stopped and picked up my meds and finished buying things for the kid’s stocking. It’s nice and full now. Finally I went grocery shopping. I had two carts full once the bagger got everything put together. Luckily I had cash on me. He seemed very normal, then he started speaking to me and I realized he was a bit slow. I gave him a $5 tip, because he was very kind and very helpful. 

I got my mistletoe hung in the doorway to the living room, it looks great. Mom stopped by with the kid’s stocking, she is still working on my matching one. She has made the same stocking nine times now as our family keeps growing. The bad part is that they are HUGE! You have buy a lot of presents and candy to fill those crazy things, but they are adorable. She’s very talented. She liked my decorations and I have to agree, the house looks festive.

I am currently doing laundry and on my last load, so the productivity continues. Now if I can just muster the motivation to put it all away for a change. I am still waiting on a clothing company to send me my new clothes that I ordered. I’d hoped to be able to take them to SC, but I guess now both of those are up in the air. I may have to contact the recruiter at the accounting firm after all. I’ll be sure not to take my Adderall the next time I have to have a drug screening. So stupid of me, I knew it might show up, what was I thinking?! Lesson learned. I just hope it works out all right. Fingers crossed.

I think that’s all I got done today, no directions from Sir at the moment, so I have been stress free for several days now. No depressing thoughts today until I spoke to the HR guy about my screening. Now I’m a little down, but I can get through this.

That’s my Tuesday so far, I hope yours was well also.

UPDATE: I put all my laundry away! Yay me! So productive! I had a nice little chat with my girlfriend and she told me not to stress about the drug screening. I am going to be proactive and stop by my GP’s office tomorrow to acquire a letter stating which drugs I am on, the dosage, and why. I can’t just sit back and wait for some doctor to call me whenever he has the chance while I need to fly out Sunday to really get this job started. Also, I’m still waiting on those dang clothes! I got an email saying I will get a package tomorrow, I hope it’s the clothes because I think all of my Christmas presents have already arrived.

ANOTHER UPDATE: Sir has made it home. I sent him a text so he would get it when he landed and he responded. He told me not to worry about the Adderall and to keep him posted. I will. It’s been so long since I’ve seen him I’m a little nervous about seeing him on Friday night. I haven’t been obedient towards anyone for over ten days and now I have to get back into true sub-mode. I’m ready, but I’m hoping it isn’t too hard to get back into. I want to please Sir, but Friday will be our first session in quite a while. I think I am up for it, I think I can obey as required, but I am not sure I can spend the night. I hope Sir doesn’t mind. I haven’t slept in the same bed with anyone since my husband died in 2015. I think it’s too soon. We don’t know each other well enough to be so close, but if he wants me to stay I will do my best to be comfortable and stay.

LAST UPDATE:  I am the worst secret keeper. I let my kid open a present today. Kid is an artist like me. Even though it’s a totally different media I bought kid an airbrush and compressor so kid could try a new style. Kid loved it, and I hope kid will make good use of it. Kid seemed thrilled, so I hope something good will come from this new present.

Kid and I had a long conversation about Jim. Kid doesn’t remember a time in kid’s life without Jim. The decorations made us think about him again. Kid went through therapy and was told kid was handling all of kid’s issues very maturely and didn’t’ need further therapy. I have an appointment with the same therapist on Thursday. I am not sure I will be able to fully open up to her but I will try with a few of my silly and kinky tendencies.  I’ll of course keep you updated. 

My Journey Into BDSM: Monday Without Sir

I was a little productive today. Although I slept late knowing that my days of sleeping in are dwindling, I got up and took my kid’s car to get inspected. Next I took it to the dealership because of a recall, but the dealership where I bought it has apparently closed. I’ll have to take it to the other dealership to have it checked out. I received four package deliveries today, so I wrapped them all. I also set up an appointment with a plumber to check out a few things around the house that I am having issues with. So that was the productive part of my day.

I have to take my car into the dealership tomorrow so I must be up by 9, which I am not thrilled about, but if they can fix the issues I will be thrilled. I’m not looking forward to the wait, but what can I do?

I got a message from a large accounting firm about a third interview, but since they sent me a note last week saying they had filled the position I took the other job. Apparently the email was for a different position but they neglected to tell me that. The recruiter was very nice and I think I made a great impression because she told me to stay in touch if my new position didn’t work out. Wow, that was an ego booster for sure.

I’m having a good day mentally. No depressive thoughts today, and I feel like I’ve accomplished something even though it was just a few things. I hope tomorrow will be a lot more productive as long as I can get out of the dealership at a decent time.

Sir is doing some traveling today, so I am not expecting to hear from him, but if I do I am sure it will be very limited. He gets back late tomorrow night, so I expect to hear from him once he’s home even if it is late. A few more pretty items showed up today. There was a coursett that I have no idea how to lace up by myself, and a set of black bra, panties, and garter belts. Stay up stockings don’t stay up on my thighs, the garter belts will help with that. So I guess I would wear the panties over the belts so they can be removed while the belts stay in place. I think Sir would appreciate that.

I haven’t heard about my travel plans for my new job, but they have to get the results from my drug screening before they can move forward. Is Adderall an issue? I hope not. I have a prescription so that’s easily explained. Nothing else should show up in my system because my other meds aren’t the types of drugs they are looking for. If I don’t hear from them tomorrow I will send an email myself and see where we are with the plans.

My friend who Jim asked to look out for me just contacted me. We are having lunch together on Wednesday. I haven’t seen him in ages, he has a new girlfriend and our mutual friends are a bit miffed with him. It’ll be nice to see him again, but I must remain impartial. I am not part of the riff between them, so it’s really none of my business. He’s like my older brother, and I’m his annoying little sister.

Putting the presents under the tree has not curtailed the middle cat from chewing on and playing with the tree. If anything they have given her a boost up to reach the previously out of reach ornaments. Luckily most of the balls I have on the tree are plastic so they won’t shatter when she knocks them down. The baby cat is also chewing on the tree, but she is too short to reach the ornaments. Big cat couldn’t care less about the tree thankfully.

Happy Monday!

UPDATE: I was able to chat with Sir before he boarded his flight. We talked about orgasms mostly. I have become more willing and he has seen the change in me. This weekend’s chats took me a long way towards total understanding and willingness to fully submit and allow things to progress naturally.

My Journey Into BDSM: A Good Sunday But Without Sir

Today has been a stress free day and I have felt nothing but relaxed. There are no direct orders from Sir that I have to follow, I feel free even though I have a lot to do this week. As I mentioned previously, I leave next Sunday through Thursday to train for my new job, then return late at night, go to work by 7:30 AM on Friday, see the psychiatrist, shop for a few things for the party that night, and get the house and patio ready for the guests at six. Tomorrow is one more day I get to sleep in late though. I haven’t heard from Sir today, but after our long chat yesterday I am not concerned. He is with family and we are on hugely different time zones so no problem. Besides he usually sends me a text in his morning which is around my bedtime.
First on my list is to take my kid’s car to get inspected so I can renew her registration. Tuesday I need to take my car to the dealership because the bike rack they ordered for me fell off the back of the car, bikes and all. I was rear-ended in May and they never fixed my kick-lift, so I need to get both those items sorted out on Tuesday at ten. Hopefully I won’t have to spend the whole day there, but I will have my iPad with me so I can at least write if it does take all day.
I need to organize the house and all the presents that have been arriving so the maid can come while I am away at training. Although my kid has never snooped, I am going to wrap the ones that arrive just to take out the temptation. My mom offered to stay here with my kid while I am gone, so they can pick up any things that are lying around to clear up for the maid. That’s another reason I need to wrap the presents and put them under the tree, they are all on the guest bed. I really have to do my filing as well since it is all over the tiny desk in the guest room. I am so happy to be starting a job that allows me to afford a maid on a regular basis again. I can’t wait to make that call and re-setup the schedule.
The biggest reason the presents need to be put under the tree is the middle cat. She has been attacking the tree. If she isn’t chewing on one of the fake branches, she is reaching up and swatting at the balls on it. I did my best to keep the ornaments out of reach, but she has weirdly long arms. Every time I look over I see a little white paws swattting at something trying to knock it down.
Deciding on which cheeses to purchase is easy as long as Annie the cheese maven at my favorite speciality shop is working when I go in this week to purchase them. She’s amazing all I have to say is “Red wines, mostly cabs, twenty people, do your best…” and she picks the most amazing cheeses ever! I do pretty well on my own, but she always has something exotic that no one has ever heard of before and of course we do a taste test in the store. There’s a reason Annie is not petite! I assume they will keep for a week in the fridge still wrapped up. I just need to figure out how many people will actually attend. It’s annoying when you see that someone has viewed your evite but hasn’t responded. I know at least three couples who are attending yet they haven’t responded to the invitation.
Wine. I need to go to Sam’s and pick up the wine for the party. What’s a wine and cheese party without wine? I’m sure everyone will bring a bottle or two, but it’s nice to have a variety on hand just in case. My wine cooler is dwindling, it’s a good time to stock up. I got the cutest wine glass identifiers, but I was very disappointed to find out that Spec’s no longer carries Reidel glasses. I used to have sixteen of them for red wine and I think I’m down to seven. I have plenty for white wine, but my glass identifiers disappeared in the renovations. I have cute googlie-eyed monsters that grab the stem with their mouths, several wine-related ones, and some world landmarks that are cute, the leaning tower of Pisa actually leans! The few I have left from before are all golf-related so there aren’t any duplicates.
A trip to the grocery store is in order, but it should be quick because I only need to get some things for my kid’s lunches since I won’t be here next week and I can survive on Adkins microwave meals for five days. The only challenge that I face is to get myself into the shower. I can do it. It’s time. I need to get out of this house, I haven’t been anywhere since Thanksgiving and it’s weighing on my mind. Sir would agree and as soon as he reads this I am sure that will be a task assigned to me with severe consequences if I disobey. Disobeying would only stress me out since I would have to scramble to gather things for the party and stress about what my punishment might be. He’s been very kind with his punishments so far, knowing that I am fragile mentally. I think the longer I am with him and the more I get to learn about him and our relationship the better he will be with punishing me in a way that doesn’t mess with me mentally.
Three very pretty baby dolls came in the mail for Sir today; one black, one red, and one electric blue. I can’t wait to see what he thinks of them. I am supposed to keep a running tab on things I purchase for us, but that makes me feel a little weird taking money from Sir even though he likes to spoil me. I do like to be spoiled, it’s just been a very long time since I have been. The last person who tried to lavish me with presents turned into a controlling and verbally abusive maniac, but that was seventeen years ago now. I don’t think Sir has those tendencies. He has never frightened or even concerned me during any of our meetings or sessions. He actually makes me feel safe, beautiful, and cherished. I think that’s the goal of a truly good Master; make sure his sub is safe and happy. I am.
His homecoming is going to be even sweeter now that we got a lot of things out in the open yesterday. Sir called me out on trying to sabotage our relationship. I have a tendency to do that with all relationships I have with men. He saw it; he’s the first person who ever actually saw it for what it is and took me to task about it. My friend from college who knows all about mine and Sir’s relationship is the only other person to call me out on my self destructive ways. I miss her, I wish she was closer.
Sir has taught me a lot in the few weeks we have spent together. For that, I am very grateful. This post is all over the place and rambling so I apologize, my mind is just a little scattered right now, but thanks for reading!